The Shattered Heart of the Wandering Soul

I've never had a release. Everywhere I've been, everywhere I've ever lived, every "heartless hero" that had that gall to call themselves my friend. Nothing could ever sooth my emotions. For years they burned inside me and I was only like a moth drawn to the flame. I was drawn to him. He filled the emptiness inside me. I was yearning for someone to lavish my affections on. Someone to whom I could express the anger and the hate that burned so deep inside it left blisters on my broken heart, and he was there.

I thought I would have him forever, but I was mistaken. He was just like everyone else. For so long, people have been false towards me. For so long, they have only put up with me. Kindly, yes. Willingly, no. I have seen the act so many times before that I have learned to mimic it. It is now the face that every person sees. I am the living lie.

I will begin the tale with how we met, who I was, and how I thought before him.
I was a simple high school student with a complex and haunted past. I was a senior to be exact. I was your typical, perfect student and boy. Straight A's and top of my class, captin of the basketball team, star of the dramma club, and plenty of friends who would turn their back on me the instant it was gone.
I had it all. My future looked bright, despite the fact my past was as dark and gloomy as a haunted graveyard. I loved where I was, and I loved everyone. Even though I knew they wore a painted face of kindness and respect when I was around. I was under the belief that they were jealous of my talent and abilities, though the real reason for their displeasure of me may be that of something else. I no longer care.
Even then, when I was at my best, I was angry at the world. I kept to my self, though what I did reveal was truthfull.
I would say it was the middle of the year when I met him. For a while I believed that he was the next step in my accomplishments, that I had found a love that was honest and true. I believed that I had found early what it takes some a life time to discover. Wrong. The moment we met was the exact moment my life took a downward spiral.
His lie was better than the others. His appeal was also far greater. I can remember an immense satisfaction of running my fingers through is short dark hair. Looking into his deep green eyes.
Over the corse of the year he managed to convince me to open up. I told him everything. I told him about my abusive drunk of a father. I told him about the death of my three brothers. I told him how me and my mother were left in the streets to starve by my entire family.
I have learned to never trust in the hearts of men. I'm still not sure what it was about me that turned him away but he eventually started to back off. Maybe it was how emotional I was about my past. Maybe I was to forward with my love for him. Maybe he never loved me to begin with, I don't know. What I do know, he began to toy with my emotions. He played with me like a harp. Truly an artist in his destruction. It was so beautifully developed I would have never seen it coming.
I lost sleep. My every thought was him. His unrelenting falsified love drove me to insomnia. My grades began to fall. I'd see him once and for a week I would be ok. It was obvious, he was my obbsession. No he was more than that. He was my addiction. He was the pill that made everything float on water.
He left me. He left me for another woman. They had been together for a while but it was so masterfully executed who could have foreseen this level of betrayal. There timing to meet, their affair, their love. Everything was so much like us it was sick. Its one thing to be left for someone of different quality, but she was me 2.0 in his life. She was everything that I was but better and she wasn't emotional. Go figure.
I quit everything. I quit my team, dropped out of school, and, like the rest of my family before me, left my mother. I know what your thinking. I over exxagerated. I stupidly fell apart and wasted everything that I was and could have been over something as simple as the shattering of an already cracked heart. Well you may be right, but if you think about it, it was only a matter of time till it happened any way. I was on the verge of snapping and I had turned a blind eye to it all.