Last Post

I'm not for sure on this, but if I ever post on here again it will be a miracle. This may be my last post because I realized that I don't like sharing my life with the world. Not only that, I'm just flat out too angry now a days for it to even be interesting. I, actually, have been having a lot of suicidal thoughts. Thinking about all the people that would go to my funeral. There are a lot of them. I think about all the people who would go out of respect of the fact that they knew me and not because they liked me. Right now I feel there are a lot of them. Even as I am writing this, I have a knife not 2 feet away that I could just shove into my throat. I wonder how long it would hurt, how long would I still continue to live. Would I still be alive when my mom gets home from work. Would she be one of the people not too sad to see me leave.
No body needs to worry, because I'm not going to kill my self or anyone else for that matter. Basically, I'm going to change my life. I'm tired of feeling this way. If I ever post again... I don't know what that will mean. It means I'm not dead I guess. If not, just figure that I've made a better life.
(These thoughts are not brought on by Steven, me and him are fine.)